Hi friends, it’s been awhile! I’ve missed you.
I’m sure not many of you have noticed I’ve been out, because I think only 2 people consistently read my blog and it’s been almost two whole years since I’ve written a word here, but I’m currently waiting for my parents to brave Portland rush hour traffic to rescue me at the IKEA warehouse, so here goes.
Not a lot has changed with the house, except for a BATHROOM RENOVATION! If you follow me on Instagram I hope I kept you well apprised, if not, I’ll do a longer post at some indeterminate time that includes before and after shots. To pat myself on the back, it’s beautiful and amazing and I love it even though it cost me a small fortune.
After 6 months of swearing up and down no more remodeling for awhile, I’m back at it. Remember how I’m stranded at the IKEA warehouse? That’s because I bought a kitchen today. A whole goddamned kitchen.
Because I’m insane? Or a glutton for punishment? Or both?
After packing up the car as much as I can, and after the IKEA staff had already told me the next bit of info, I admit to myself there’s no way I could make it all fit. So I tried calling a friend. That sort of worked and I began driving across Portland to meet him to have him help me unload some stuff to make room for the other stuff.
And I’m driving, and I can’t see too well because the rearview mirror is totally obstructed as well as the right side view mirror. But I’m going slow and I feel pretty confident I’m not going to crash my friends car and decapitate myself with a Sektion hi-cabinet with two doors and five drawers, and I keep driving.
I made it about 6 blocks before I realize the only direction I can safely go is forward and left, and I don’t think I can make it home to Eugene using just those directions.
I pull off on the corner of NE 106th and NE Wygant and frantically call Molli to figure out what to do.
“I can’t drive, I can’t see, it’s not safe.”
“Let me see what I can do. You’ll be ok, maybe I can meet you up there.”
“I’m going to have to call my parents, I’m such an over ambitious loser!”
More moaning and whining follow and I call my parents to pick me up.
They’re understandably confused, because I was planning to paint the house this weekend, not spend a small fortune in time and money picking up a kitchen from our favorite Swedish box. Then they think the car broke down, and then after I’m crying they realize I just can’t see and I need a rescue and it’s either them or I die all alone on the streets of Portland with $5,000 worth of IKEA furniture in my car…
So they’re driving here now.
And I love them and appreciate them and am laughing at myself for being overly ambitious and excitable and having poor planning skills.
But in the meantime, I had to to get a tow. So I use Molli’s AAA tow and the guy shows up and says, “What’s the problem? Your mirror fell off?”
“No… I just can’t see because the mirrors are blocked, see?”
He looks, and bursts out laughing.
“This has to be the funniest call I’ve had in awhile. I can’t wait to tell everyone about this.”
And so I ate crow forever while he drove me back to the warehouse to wait for my parents. The end.
If you want to follow the saga of the kitchen renovation, please follow me on Instagram. I’ll be posting like mad while I update the house and make everything pretty, since I’ll never be able to afford to do anything ever again after this.
Which means maybe more blog posts! Stay tuned.
UPDATE: this is what 97 boxes of flat pack kitchen looks like. I am actually ecstatic to put it all together.